Friday Smile

[Iplay1]

A few Bar Jokes

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge" (you have to think to get this one...)
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A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"

The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.

"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"

The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."

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2 guys walk into a bar.....
The third guy ducked
 

[playmaster]

Two guys are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole
in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says
“Wow, that’s some hole; I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is?” The
second hunter says” I don’t know, let’s throw something down and listen and see how
long it takes to hit bottom.” The first hunter says “There’s this old car transmission
here, give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see”. So they pick it up and carry it over,
and count one, two and three, and throw it in the hole.  They are standing there
listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the
hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.  While they are standing there looking
at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an
old farmer walks up. “Say there”, says the farmer, “you fellers didn’t happen to see
my goat around here anywhere, did you?”  The first hunter says ” Funny you should
ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the
bushes doin’ about a hundred miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!”
The old farmer said “Why that’s impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!”